I Cannot Express Deeply Enough The Feeling That I Care So Little About So Much

by Jonathan Snee

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Written, abandoned, rediscovered and reworked from 2014 to 2016.


released October 29, 2016



Track Name: Nevermind
I play this guitar
and do my best
impression of
Mark Kozelek

and I can't play
as fast as him
so I just sing

if I never make it anywhere
well at least I tried
and if I never make a single penny
well then nevermind

I cut my hair all off
'cause I'd let my freak fly
long enough

and I tried to grow out my nails
so I could play these songs
but I got nervous and bit them all off
before they could get long

if I never make it anywhere
well at least I tried
and if I never make a single penny
well then nevermind

I used to dream about one day being famous
and touring the world and seeing the faces of people singing my song
but now I'm quite content
with being no one of consequence
with being no one
and is it better to burn out than not burn at all

put on those crooked fingers records
and sing 'sleep all summer'
Track Name: Close Comfort
I know you hate when I go to work swinging my hammer
because you've seen me broken, you've seen me damaged
but my body's strong it's my soul that takes the brunt
of the pain I inflict on myself like a hammer to thumb

my favourite part of the day
is telling you I am ok
and seeing the look of relief
cross your face

I know you love coming home to a house that's not empty
so I'd fill each space if I could so you'd never be lonely
but I know you need time alone, to gather your thoughts
so I'll be right here, when you want to talk

my favourite of the night
is just before I turn out the light
and I hear you say 'I love you'
one last time

I know it's hard to give your life so completely
to yourself, let alone somebody
who might be afraid of what you have to show
but your deepest and darkest, I want to know

my favourite part of our life
is knowing is that if the world outside
crashed and burned
we'd be alright

I tried to make my home with you
now I hope with all of my heart that you find some new
I guess our love just faded like those old tattoos
Track Name: I Cannot Express Deeply Enough The Feeling That I Care So Little About So Much
I stripped my life bare, like a man prepared to drown
I stepped into the water
and all of the things that had weighed me down
remained on the shore as I drifted further

I found myself on an island, I found myself light as a feather
I found myself strong from swimming against the current
it had been so long since I'd felt this independent

but I cannot describe to you what it's like to have gone through what I have gone through, this song will try but if I know myself it will fail

with no sentiment, I'm a document of a life I've lead
viewed through the lens of a camera held by a steady hand
I see my life, as something easily analysed
when you look inside, it all makes sense

I avoid at all costs, people whom this idea would be lost upon
I have no desire to explain myself to anyone who looks at me
and sees a heart that only hates, I've still some way
before I give up on the human race

but I cannot express deeply enough the feelings that I care so little about so much
Track Name: Call Of The Wild
my perfect day starts with black coffee
blue skies and a walk in the park
to see the dogs chasing each other
maybe we could sit and talk

about the types of dogs we’d be
‘cause i’ve felt like a stray my whole life
i know i seem domesticated
but there is a wolf in me that used to run wild

i don’t say it to try and sound cool
it’s just a fact of my breed
that we can turn from light to dark
from playing dead to biting the hand that feeds

i’ve trained myself to try and be good
but sometime, instinct kicks in
and i am left at the mercy
of my heart and all of it’s ragged whims

i’ve long had a fear of being caged
chained to one place, trying to be tame
i’d rather hang a welcome sign around my neck
and live that way

if that’s what it takes
to survive my days on this earth
then i’ll try
knowing that i’m safe

I remember telling a friend
about a life I did not want to lead
but look how easy I have slipped
I never thought I’d fall so comfortably
Track Name: Who Knows / Lacuna Coda
this was your favourite song I used to play
said it reminded you of Spain
where we spent a week one summer
now simple things make me remember

and I know it's hard to forge ahead
when there's this life you once led
trying to resuscitate
your former self

I know it might have seemed sudden
when we fell out of love
we may have seemed stronger than we were with more courage
but we were weak enough

to let ourselves doubt our patience
I should have left my memories at the door
but I dragged them around til they filled up the whole damn house
and we couldn't move